Seth Adam Smith met his wife Kim when they were both 15 years old. They had been friends forever, but when they were 25, they decided to take their relationship to the next level.
As the couple fell deep in love, they made the decision to marry. And with that decision came a lot of anxiety for Seth.
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Seth was concerned about whether he was ready for marriage and whether Kim was really the right one for him. So he shared these thoughts with his dad.
His dad’s response stopped him right in his tracks.
He said, “Seth, you’re being totally selfish. So I’m going to make this really simple: Marriage isn’t for you. You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn’t for yourself, you’re marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn’t for you. It’s not about you. Marriage is about the person you married.”
It was that very second that Seth realized that Kim was the one he wanted to marry. And so he did–happily.
But that doesn’t mean it was smooth sailing after that.
After they had been married for a year and a half, he started feeling the same fears again–coupled with resentment this time. Before he could stand it, his emotions erupted at Kim.
But Seth said his wife shocked him with her response. She took him in his arms and soothed him, despite the pain he had caused her.
Seth wrote in a Faith It post, “I realized that I had forgotten my dad’s advice. While Kim’s side of the marriage had been to love me, my side of the marriage had become all about me. This awful realization brought me to tears, and I promised my wife that I would try to be better.”
He said this showed him marriage truly wasn’t “for” him. It was for others.
What a beautiful lesson!
via Faith It